3 May 2009
I am delirious nowadays, keep seeing people from the past off and then. Seems like my time has come, to pay respects to the aged folks. Every night, i woke up in exasperation, unable to complete the incomplete dream. Maybe the souls are calling me, maybe its about time...i visit my hometown after a year!
I can feel the freshness bloom of the flower, cutting through the thick humidity of Mumbai. I am excited, happy and tensed at the same time..as if i am going to shed my image and start a new life. I burned my pockets a few days ago, to decorate my home there in hometown..yet i am not so sure if it will be worth the size of the pocket! I had spent my childhood days by the banks of the river, laying idly on the soft green grasses watching the blue yonder, played on the heaps of straws of the recent harvests, cycled all my way to school enjoying the view whatever comes its way, wore gumboots in the scorching heat filled with water... and yet i am feeling awake!
An image suddenly appeared on the right corner of the brain and behind the eyes, where all my thoughts and dreams disappear with the far faded away bluish green mountain "Baruni". I have a special relationship with that mountain. I believe she will keep all my secrets which i have told, gazing at her, lost in some thoughts, mostly when i was lonely and alone. I now know, she will not tell anyone about my secrets coz its me who had left her, its me who had forgotten her and not vice versa. When i am down and lonely here, all i see is dusky smoke with skyscrapers and noise everywhere, cant even lament in peace!
Now that i am coming home, let me retrospect and bring the memories alive. How can i forget that place! No matter what is happening there, lawlessness one may say, but they are human beings too and not animals! How can someone be so hard enough to stay order rules applicable to animals? Everytime i went home, i felt better, and thought maybe next time when i come - it will be better; but seems like time is running faster than i anticipated! Whatever be the reason, i am coming home now, i cannot bear the delirious nights anymore, i cannot bear the pain alone.
Manipur, my sweet small hometown, here i come.
at 11:28:00 am