22 Aug 2007

Before sunrise!!

Life has been treating me well.It's like a swing,sometimes up and sometimes down.Everyone has his own taste of life in tits and bits! In large,i have been thinking about life,my life,everybody's life.Sometimes its hard to believe that our worlds have become so narrow minded and smaller place to live in.Yet people hardly find time to share with their family,friends and dear ones even in this small world.

My life has always four walls in childhood.Under the strict supervision of my grandfather,who was a technical expert in every work;for he spent his whole life working odd jobs for the family.He had seen the world and would tell us about it,stories of second world war,histories etc before bed.He was a good cook too,and i miss those omlete which he makes with a spoon.(In general,all Manipuri guys know how to cook). As a child i had nothing to do but think of ways to do new things..maybe it is a nuisance to some but i have always been familiar with numbers.I use to add numbers of the vehicles i see on the way and see if they add upto 9,just like that;no reason for that. (You won't believe it,i do that now too sometimes.) I have some childhood friends,which were relatives basically of my same age.

School was a big break for me.Under the missionary fathers and brothers,we were brought up and instill in us the values i treasure for life.Life was easy for me,because i did not mix with much people. I was slow in initiating things and friendship too.I didn't have any fixed friend until class five,but that stupid guy flunked and there i was lonely again.All classmates were my friends,but by friends i mean with whom i can play,talk to,fight with and have fun with.
In class ten,i met a good friend who taught me to write poems (m grateful to him for this art).I had many friends by the class ten and had lot of fun in school. I wonder how i spent my whole day in school without a friend before that? I guess m used to it.

The real life started in XI when i began to learn bunking class and have fun with friends.On my birthday,skipped my class and watched "Dil to pagal hai" with friends and gave a grand party without attending the tuition,only to get caught by parents when i got home.That was hard part,yet i managed. I was caught smoking over the roof,yet parents dint say anything to me;maybe they wanted me to realize it myself.

Life seem to start rolling when i did my engineering,where i met different peoples from different parts of the country.I keep a low profile and hardly mix with people whom i hardly know or whom i dont wana mix with.I use to think a lot since childhood days (my grandpa's gift).I began to think about life and relations during my engineering days when i flunked one year due to a girl thing.That time i realize how my life have been in all these years.I began to understand problems in life and many people use to ask my opinion.I also found it interesting to listen to them and give them advice or opinion.I was wrong sometimes but that mistakes make me more vulnerable to think.

Life keeps moving until my grandpa passes away a couple of months ago,leaving with me his legacy of thoughts and responsibility.I saw him sometimes in dreams and miss his warm hands.I am a bit emotional,sensitive kinda guy. I can laugh at the slight gesture and cry at the very thought of something stupid. Well thats not the matter..life will go on.
Last time i remember him was when i ate roti with gobi sabji,it almost tasted the same like he use to make when i was a child.It made me sad remembering it and i stopped eating rotis from that day.Memories can drive me crazy sometimes.

My friends consider me as an old man in the group.Maybe i have my own reasons for my actions.I am a bit matured than my age,i guess!! Whatever it may be,i wish know the reason why i am like this?
When will the sun rise?
When will the darkness end?


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