14 Aug 2007

Insomnia - a disease or a boon!!

Courtesy: http://www.christophernolan.net

It dates back to my childhood days of pondering,biting my unearthing nail tips. Right from childhood i use to ponder and get lost into my own world of dreams..dreams not of fairies and dragons but an imaginary world of my hidden wishes and thoughts. The mighty Barauni (local hillock) stands before me as a source of inspiration and a reason to get lost in my own world. Mom knew about this and used to scold me every time when she comes to deliver the morning tea to my desk but never asked me what i was thinking about..maybe she was giving me time to recover myself and realize the truth of life rather than get lost in my own world. She knew i was day dreaming and never laughed at me,she just would say "you will have time to think on your own..till then study". Now i understand her words. With time this had become a habit in real time..and i don't day dream but i have developed so many barriers between me and the world that it needs time for me to snap back and return to the real world.
Time as someone has truly said is a great healer.With time i realize everything..from emotional trauma to stress..i could snap in no time and come back to my senses rather than get carried away with it. Since childhood i have been a loner,not because i didn't had friends but that i chosed that way. My grandpa was the main reason for my mental re-development. Alas he's no more,but he has given me the time and space to dwell in my own world and space. Gone were the days of war stories and bed time folk tales.

It is generally said that a person needs at least 8 hours of sleep for healthy day life. For me i cut those extra four hours and made it 4 hours of sleep daily. Sometimes i would indulge myself in something i love and would stretch for 24 hours of no sleep..yet have maintained the decorum to sleep at least 4 hours in day less my health deteriorates. There are times when i gave my papers without a wink of sleep adn find myself sleeping in exam hall. But that was years ago when i just started to realize that it could made me insomnia!! Confronting real life scenarios with time made me immune to sleep and dreams came thinner than before.

I always try to utilize my extra hours of wakeness by thinking of something good or working on something that could give me happiness. If i dint have insomnia,you probably wont be reading this blog at all. This is one way to trap my feelings and help me analyze myself in future.
There are many people whom i call friends who were like me.."nocturnal insomniacs". We use to pull each others legs and crack jokes at 4am in morning.Sometimes share the inventory we had with ourselves..cigarettes particularly. Cigarette is a good way to keep a person awake..but do i smoke to keep myself awake is still a mystery!!

If you have seen "Cashback" movie..the story is something like mine. The actor becomes insomniac and indulges in other things which gave him pleasure. Nothing to be proud of when i say i haven't slept till now on the breakfast table..but i seem to like the gleam of shockness in people when i make such statements. One good thing about my keeping awake is that i find time ..much more time for myself,fro self development and improvement. I have enrolled for online projects and website development for passing time as well as knowledge. I find it quite nice to see the reflection of the pages scrolling by. Due to these extra hours i have taken up to be moderators of some forums and sites. I love writing and especially when i know about the subject.

You might be thinking i am writing all crap things but i guess you will understand it when you become an insomniac like me someday!! Maybe that time you will realize the value and feelings which i have right now..expressed over here. Words may seem unrealted but i can hear voices back somewhere...rubbing my eyes sometimes to listen carefully and straining my eyes to type words on my laptop.. well dont worry much..this is my first blog.. Rest of the blog wont be smae like this i assure you.

I would be discussing topics like Hacking,phissing,mail frauds,technological issues,flaws in Operating systems,troubleshooting the system,security tips,social networking,virtual online presence,developement of new projects and my experiences in life etc.
Keep hunting and stay awake!!


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