The first heart surgeon (late) Dr. Christian Barnard wrote his lifelong experiences about sufferings of life in his "In celebration of being alive". He had met with an accident and had so many broken bones and his wife was critical. Yet as he goes along with life he finds a child who was in his last stage of cancer in the hospital praying to God everyday. He was surprised to see the child's faith in God even after what have happened to him. When he asked the child why he had so much faith in Him when he knows he is not going to live long;the child smiled and taught him the greatest lesson of his life. It was indeed God in the child's disguise for him that changed his rest of his life. He said that I pray because I am still alive. That touched his heart and he began to think of his life,his miseries in life. He began to understand that no matter how much hardship one faces in life..he has to understand that suffering ennobles a person and God tests man from time to time. He was happy thinking that life in fact was the greatest gift of God and he should be celebrating that he is still alive and happy.
I like this story and had read thousand times in my school days and still remember it when times are hard for me. But when life seems so hard on you,you begin to wonder if you care for those values at all ? You begin to think if God is testing your will and begin to strive harder in life. Eventually when you feel that you cannot bear it anymore nothing seems to matter at the end of the day. Thats what i am feeling right now after a hectic week of placement. I don't know if i am regretting for the past or not but yes i do think if it only could have been better!
Four best companies came and went away from my hand like life has snatched away my right to live!
Wipro came on the first day with 4.8 lacs p.a. for freshers. I went for the GD round and did not even get shortlisted. The same afternoon was ICICI Prudential with 6.8 lacs p.a. CTC and that too drifted away from my fate. On the second day Deloitte came and i was very impressed to see the work culture, their performance,their salary scale etc I desperately tried hard but i guess i did not try harder. Today HCL came (though very late) and shortlisted candidates based on experience,60% thorughout and below 60% . And guess what i was not short listed for the same.
I wondered how i can control my frustration and anger from within and console myself at the same time. I remembered what Dr. Barnard said and wrote this blog. Does it really matter to a person at such a critical juncture of time Doctor? I wish i could ask you this question but i guess i have to find it on my own way. Life seems to have com to a dead end and living becomes a hell.
With the expectations from friends,relatives and family members and my own responsibilities i head upon this boredom life and frustrated heart...only to go ahead in life with the hope of finding solace in some form.
The Experience though is amazing enough to have drifted me apart from my real world and made me dream of a perfect life. Forecasting is another thing and dream another entity. Life totally seemed to differentiated between the imaginary dreams which did not let me sleep and the real world from where i want to retire. I hope for the best to come as it is said "the best is yet to be". With this same enthusiasm i wish to walk ahead in life and achieve what i have dreamt in my sleepless nights.
Eventually at the end of the day what matters to me is how composed i am despite the heart aches of seeing someone selected and wishing him/her all the best despite the heartache. Thats what life is all about....keeping the hope and expect the best while you give your best in life.
Cheers everyone! Cheers to life!!